What Every Parent Should Know About Puberty

Thanks to Twitter, I was very fortunate to meet and share my story with the people behind You ARE Loved. I had an amazing telephone conversation with their Director of Education, Dr. Greg Smith who explained in a way that made sense and didn’t overwhelm me about the signs and signals that will let you know where on the road to puberty your children are in.  My son is 10 and apparently was chatting with his Nana about a girl in his class who now has her period and was quite open about it.   This is in Grade 5.  I was told to not be surprised if any girls in my 8 year old’s class had their period.   The kids grow up fast these days, and  I don’t think many of us are prepared for it hitting us all so soon.  

I am thrilled to have Dr. Smith and his associate Tara Bruley,Founder of Be Prepared Period use Crunchy Carpets as platform for educating us parents of school-agers about what to expect and what to look out for.

Puberty is a topic few parents feel ready to explore.  Regardless of your comfort level, it is important that you learn and pass along the basics to your son or daughter before puberty begins.  If your child has started school, then the information that follows is relevant now.

Ready . . . Set . . . Grow! 

Puberty is the phase of development when a child’s body transitions into an adult body, including the attainment of reproductive capabilities.  During puberty, children experience considerable change: physically, emotionally, cognitively and socially.  This article focuses on the physical changes.

Did You Know?

Consider these facts about puberty:

• It is a multi-year process, not a single event.
• Boys start an average of two years later than girls.
• The most talked about milestones for boys and girls don’t occur until well after puberty begins.

Timing

Most children start puberty during elementary school, and fall within the normal age range for their gender.   If your son’s or daughter’s development falls into either the early or delayed categories, then it is appropriate to follow up with your child’s pediatrician.

• Early: The first signs* of pubertal development occur before age 7 in girls (if African American, then before age 6) or before age 9 in boys.
• Normal: The first signs of pubertal development between age 7 and 12 for girls (if African American, then the normal range begins at age 6) or between age 9 and 13 for boys.
• Delayed: There are no signs of pubertal development by age 13 for girls or age 14 for boys.

*The first sign of pubertal development for most girls is breast development.  For most boys, growth in the size of testicles comes first.

Changes

While the physical changes of puberty take place in all boys and girls, they start at different times and proceed at different rates.  Several decades ago, pediatric endocrinologist Dr. James M. Tanner (1920-2010) created stages of development now commonly referred to as either Tanner Stages or Sexual Maturity Rating (SMR).  These stages are designed to aid health professionals in noting the degree of pubertal maturation, but also serve as a valuable tool for parents seeking to understand their children’s development.

During puberty, boys and girls encounter significant growth spurts, develop body odor, grow pubic and underarm hair, experience genital changes, and get pimples.  Boys develop muscle mass, a deeper voice, and facial hair. Girls experience a redistribution of body fat.

The stages are numeric, ranging from 1 to 5.  Children with no development are considered to be in stage 1.  Stages 2 through 4 indicate the progression of puberty.  Stage 5 is for those who have attained all developmental milestones and have completed sexual maturation.

There is one set of stages for girls and another for boys. In both genders, however, children progress through the stages in order.  A small number of children will deviate from the charts below (e.g., a girl’s pubic hair may precede her breast development).

 

Tanner Stages for Girls
Breast Development	Stage	Pubic Hair Growth
Prepubertal (no development)	1	Prepubertal (no hair)
Small raised bumps (buds)	2	Small number of fine, lightly colored hairs
Overall growth without contour separation	3	Hair grows, darkens, coarsens, and curls
Areola and nipple stand apart, forming a secondary mound  (skipped by some girls)	4	Adult in appearance, but less in quantity
Fully developed	5	Fully developed

Tanner Stages for Boys
Genital Development	Stage	Pubic Hair Growth
Prepubertal	1	Prepubertal (no hair)
Scrotum thins and reddens, testes grow	2	Small number of fine, lightly colored hairs
Penis, testes, and scrotum grow(penis grows primarily in length)	3	Hair grows, darkens, coarsens, and curls
Penis, testes, and scrotum growglans develops, scrotum darkens	4	Adult in appearance, but less in quantity
Fully developed	5	Fully developed

Just for Girls

Two of the most noticeable milestones for girls are the start of breast development and the onset of menses.  The first arrives early in puberty, and is often accompanied by her first bra.  The latter is generally viewed as the most notable, and occurs most commonly during stage 4 or, on average, 2 to 2 ½ years into puberty.  It is normal for girls to have irregular cycles when they first start menstruating.  While not mentioned in the chart above, it is also important to inform your daughter about vaginal discharge, which typically arrives early in puberty.

Just for Boys

Two of the most significant changes for boys are the ability to ejaculate and change in voice.  The first isn’t fixed to a specific stage, but generally follows the appearance of pubic hair and initial genital growth.  Initial ejaculation occurs either from masturbation or nocturnal emission (also known as a wet dream).  Voice, the second big change, is very apparent to others. It occurs most commonly during stages 3 and/or 4 (with the voice starting to break or crack prior to changing). While not mentioned in the chart above, it is also important to inform your son about the normalcy of frequent erections that are not linked to stimulation or sexual thoughts, which typically begin early in puberty. Also, it is essential to be aware that a significant percentage of boys experience temporary breast development.

Talking Tips

The following tips are helpful and healthy general guidelines to begin and continue the conversation:

Do

• Listen carefully
• Use proper names for body parts
• Take advantage of young children’s natural curiosity
• Make the most of teachable moments
• Provide honest, complete, and simple answers
• Correct misinformation
• Share stories of your own experiences
• Teach puberty basics for both boys and girls (not just your child’s own gender)

Don’t

• Wait for your child to approach you and ask questions
• Assume you need to become or should act like an expert
• Think it’s harmful to share too much too soon
• Try to cover everything (or even big chunks of information) in a single conversation
• Stop learning

 

Authors

Tara Bruley (Founder of Be Prepared Period) and Greg Smith (Director of Education for You ARE Loved) are partners in education who seek to empower parents to fulfill their roles as their child’s first and primary puberty educator.  They invite you to participate in an educational Twitter chat they co-host or to submit your questions to an  interactive message board focused on puberty and periods.

Please note that Your ARE Loved are all invited to a Tweet Chat on September 14th Co-hosted with BePreparedPeriod.  The hashtag will be #PeriodTalk.  It is scheduled for 2pm Eastern time.